Merlin, I Know Your Secret
by FallenStar22
Summary: Mergana. Merlin and Morgana POV. Morgana reveals she knows Merlin's secret, but which one does she mean?
1. Part 1:Merlin POV

Part 1

Merlin POV

"Merlin!" Morgana hissed.

I loved the way she said my name. She said it like she was savouring a hard boiled sweet by licking her tongue around it. Truth be told, I'd be lying if I said I didn't find her attractive. She was gorgeous even when she was stalking towards me murderously like that. I wonder what I've done now.

"Stop acting so innocent Merlin, you know what I'm talking about!" Her voice gained in intensity. I honestly had no clue; with Morgana everything seemed a mystery. Like how she remained so beautiful whilst partaking in such evil sorcery. Surely that must defy the laws of magic? She should have warts or something. But even if she was covered in the most awful boils her eyes would still mesmerise me.

"Merlin!" she snapped, "Are you even listening to me?"

"Uh-" How was I going to get myself out of this one? Morgana started walking towards me and I instinctively took a few steps back. Despite my height over her she still never failed to intimidate me. She seemed a little flustered as she reached me as if her short walk had tired her. That was most unlike the fit swordswomen I knew. Surprisingly her eyes softened and her head ducked making her seem like she was going to cry.

"Morgana, are you okay?" I asked gently. I contemplated putting my arm around her to soothe her but then decided against it when he head snapped up and she started glaring at me again. I think she noticed though.

"Yes of course I'm okay Merlin. What on earth can be wrong?" she replied exasperatedly.

What is it about girls that make them change their minds so quickly? One minute they are about to cry and the next they are screaming down your throat. Honestly, it's not like they have to worry about ruling Camelot or anything. This is why we have Kings and not Queens. They are just too temperamental. Oh wait, she's the second in the line. I bloody well hope Arthur doesn't die without an old enough heir. With this woman on the throne Camelot will go topsy-turvy.

"Merlin, you weren't supposed to answer that." How did she work that out? Women are the most confusing creatures ever. And now she looked nervous. Is there ever going to be an end to her mood swings?

She took a deep breath in, "Merlin I know your secret," she rushed out. That I like her? How could she possibly know? Unless she meant sorcery. What if she tells Uther? Camelot will die. I can't let that happen. I opened my mouth to plead and beg to her but she beat me to it.

"Don't worry Merlin, my lips are sealed." My first thought was not to believe her but then her face looked so sincere and her rosy lips so plump. Why did she have to bring those infernally gorgeous lips into it? Soon this woman would kill me just by looking at her.

**AN: I wrote this at 5 in the morning! Couldn't sleep and had it in my head so decided I would just wake up and write it. Second part in Morgana's POV will be up a little later today once I've typed it up. R&R please (:**


	2. Part 2:Morgana POV

Part 2

Morgana POV

Breakfast make me extremely irritable. Every time Arthur said something stupid Merlin would laugh and as soon as he caught my eye his infuriating grin would fade and he would look straight away. I don't understand why something so small would bother me so much. It wouldn't bother me if Arthur did that. He can be a bit of a 'prat' in Merlin's terms sometimes; not that I would ever admit it.

I was desperate for this meal to end so I could escape the fervent looks from Merlin which made me blush like a school girl. I assumed he was staring at me due to the many times our gaze briefly caught, but then I could be just imagining his attention. He could be looking at Gwen for all I knew. He and Gwen were quite close after all. Closer than I was with her. And she was definitely closer to him than I was.

I was so wrapped up I barely registered Uther and Arthur leave. However, the cause of my irritation had not left yet. I was annoyed at him for blanking me, what right did he feel he had in cutting me off? I was going to give him a piece of my mind.

As soon as I started walking towards him I knew it was a bad idea. He had no clue what he had done to frustrate me. Maybe I was just imagining it all. His ears were rather cute once you got used to them. They made him look even more innocent. But behind that adorable face was a powerful warlock. I was not going to be deceived by him just because he turned his puppy eyes on me. So I began my rant.

Half the time I wasn't even aware of what I was saying, I just stared at his changing eyes. Becoming aware of the fact his glazed expression meant he wasn't listening to me refuelled my anger. No one ignores Morgana Le Fay.

I carried on towards him hoping being nearer would mean he would register my presence. I was rewarded with a slight look of terror. As I drew nearer I realised Merlin was tall, not tall enough to intimidate me but tall enough for me to rest my head on his chest. I lowered my head at the thought.

"Morgana, are you okay?" came his voice from above me. Did he really just say that? Is it possible that Merlin cares for me? I scanned his face noticing his arm shadowing me. Would I admit that I might have feelings for this sweet caring boy? I couldn't show that I liked him.

"Yes of course I'm okay Merlin. What on earth could be wrong?" Only that I love you, I answered in my head. For a second I feared that I had said it out loud for he didn't reply instantly. Then I realised the fool was actually thinking of an answer. Could he be more stupid? I reprimanded him for that. He looked shocked at how I knew as if it wasn't written all over his face. For someone so powerful he could be incredibly idiotic sometimes.

I wanted to tell him I knew his secret, I was tired of keeping my secret to myself; I wanted to share it with someone who knew what I was going through. Someone who lived right under the nose of the man who would kill anyone suspected of witchcraft. I wanted Merlin.

"Merlin, I know your secret," I blurted out. I couldn't think of any other way to say it. At first he looked mortified but then his expression resembled one of defeat. He thought I was going to tell Uther. Did he think I was so low to betray him to his death? Oh my, he did. "Don't worry Merlin, my lips are sealed," I said hurriedly. He seemed appeased and then his eyes wondered to my lips while he unconsciously licked his own. This boy will be the death of me soon.

**AN: So did you like it? Originally a two-shot but may continue depending on response. Thank you for reading! R&R please (:**


	3. Part 3:Merlin POV

Disclaimer: Merlin belongs to the BBC

Merlin POV

I was so nervous walking through the moonlit corridors to Morgana's chambers. Gaius had instructed me to deliver a sleeping draught to Morgana's chambers hours ago but the first time I dropped it, the second time I forgot to include to include one of the essential ingredients and hopefully this would be the final time of making it. I couldn't get Morgana out of my head. Ever since what happened this morning... Not that anything had happened. I was too scared so I left before I could let my intentions betray me. I kept catching glimpses of her throughout the day, but luckily Arthur's chores kept me constantly busy. That was another reason I was late making this potion; Morgana would probably be sleeping by now. Gaius would kill me if he ever found out, but luckily he had gone out somewhere. He keeps going out at night regularly now, something's up with him.

I knocked gently on the ward's door. "Morgana?" I whispered through the wood. There was no answer. I pushed the door open slightly; Morgana was lying on the bed, her head tossing and turning, obviously in distress. The moonlight illuminated her pale clammy face to reveal her pained expression. Seeing her like that broke my heart, but I was over stepping my boundaries by coming in here while she was sleeping. Stuff boundaries, I thought as she twisted again, she needed me. I walked swiftly to her side and laid a hand on her forehead. It was burning up and damp from sweat.

"Morgana!" I whispered more urgently. Putting my hands on her delicate shoulders I shook her awake before she bolted up millimetres away from me. She still looked eternally beautiful.

"Merlin?" Her voice was laced with the shock shown on her face. Maybe I shouldn't have come, she didn't seem too happy to see me. After I moved off her, she sat up properly with a hardened look on her face. I really shouldn't have come here, why did I come here again? Oh yes, to deliver the potion.

"Sorry, Morgana, I- I only came to give you your sleeping potion." I held it out in front of me for insurance. She looked at me sceptically, but then took the offered potion and eagerly gulped it down. This was nothing like the normal, calm collected behaviour Morgana portrayed. "Morgana, what's wrong?" Her eyes looked haunted as I asked the question.

"Nothing." She replied with her head down. I raised my eyebrows, I had waited on this girl long enough to know when she was lying, she did it routinely to Uther. I expressed my opinions on her reply and this time her eyebrows went up.

"And what else do you know about me Merlin?" She had changed to a light hearted tone of voice to change the subject, but that still didn't fool me.

"That you're hiding something from me," I half spoke, half whispered. I looked straight into her eyes to tell her I would not back down on this one. She would tell me what was wrong, because I would do anything to help her. She just doesn't know that yet.

**AN: Apologies for the long update, I had exams and the like. This one is shorter so I don't repeat much in the next chapter (which should hopefully be up soon. Feel free to hassle me) Anyways R&R, but most important enjoy! (:**


	4. Part 4:Morgana POV

**Disclaimer: Merlin is owned by the BBC**

Morgana POV

I hurried down the corridor soon after waking up, with a pace that accompanied me from my dream. My entire body was screaming at me to do something, to prevent it from happening, but all my brain could do was thinking of ridding myself of these visions, these nightmares. I was not napping, or sleeping ever again. I continued to find my father to request him to ask Gaius for a sleeping potion.

He was overly sympathetic, it was hard not to break down and keep my composure about what was troubling me. My own father or not, he would not hesitate in killing me if I was suspected of magic. I feel as if I'm forced to hide away part of what I am. I feel so alone in the castle. Until now I thought I was the only one who was magical. I thought I was worse than that, I thought I was a freak. My whole life I have been brought up thinking my mere existence was wrong. No one I understood, there was no one I could tell. And who would believe that me, the King's ward would be everything he detests?

Merlin is the only one who could possibly understand what I'm going through, and he probably doesn't even want to talk to me. And he knew for so long but never told me. He betrayed me. I thought he was my friend, but he obviously doesn't trust me enough to tell me the truth.

I was too frustrated to stay in my room but I felt too empty pacing the corridors. The few clips from my nightmare were still haunting me; if they ever came true- No, I mustn't think like that. I cannot let that come true. Merlin, Arthur and Gwen all dead? I will make sure that will never happen.

"Dinner is ready milady," said Gwen as she entered the room. I was so distracted that I barely noticed eating at all. It must have been apparent to Gwen as she kept looking at me funnily and even asked me if I was okay. I don't think my hasty yes satisfied her though because she stayed longer than was necessary.

I was reluctant to go to sleep without drinking the potion but I lay on my bed anyway looking up at the ceiling. Gaius had promised to make me a sleeping potion but he still hadn't brought it yet. I didn't want to go and see him in fear of bumping into Merlin. That boy had been on my mind all day, dead and alive. I don't know what it was about him that made me think of him so much. Maybe it was his cheeky grin or sticky out ears. I still haven't decided what I like best about him.

_Arthur; an arrow sticking out of his chest, his eyes in shock. Gwen sobbing over his body, moving closer to them it is apparent that Gwen's chest has stopped rising. Her eyes are shut not by sorrow but by death. Merlin arrives on the scene and calls her name. It was her all along he cared about. _

_The scene changes and Merlin is standing feet firmly on the ground with a determined look on his face. His blue eyes flash gold and a glowing orb appears in his hands. His mouth twists upwards at one side in a smile but he is blown backwards into a tree before the glowing ball has even left his hands. Blood starts to trickle down the side of his head and his eyes remain shut. _

"No, no," I murmured still asleep. Not again, this will not happen again. I need to help him.

As I got up to help him my dream dissolved, and I was still in my chambers with a very anxious, but still alive serving boy in front of me. "Merlin?" my voice was incredulous. Seconds before this boy was dead in front of my eyes. He seemed nervous about something and leant off me. My body instantly felt cold as if my flame had gone out. I can't let this boy be the existence for my living, it will slowly destroy me.

He held out the potion in front of him and that was the only indication I needed to take it and gulp it down, I would do anything to rid those horrid images from my mind. Then came that dreaded question again, "Morgana, what's wrong?" How much of myself would I be willing to give away? He already knew I could do magic. And now I knew his secret as well.

Apart from the fact I just saw my three best friends dead? "Nothing." I replied more coldly than he deserved.

"You're lying." he said in a voice so low I wasn't sure if that was what he said. He did not just say that. How could I reply to that? Tell him yes, I was lying but I don't know how to tell you I'm scared? Back to etiquette lessons, if there is an awkward moment then change the subject to a light hearted topic. I teased him gently and put a fake smile on my face to make it believable, but he wasn't fooled. His persistence was just making me fall for him more and more.

**AN: for some reason this chapter didn't want to write itself. Read, review and enjoy**


	5. Part 5:Merlin POV

Merlin POV

Morgana ignored me for the rest of the day. I can't explain how frustrated that made me. It hurt because I was fed up of hiding my secret from the one person I could finally share it with. At least, that was the reason I told myself. It had nothing to do with the fact the raven haired beauty didn't want to talk to me. It didn't help that Arthur had set me the mundane, menial task of scrubbing all the floors in the guest rooms. Some friends of his were arriving, knights or the like. They were all the same: as interesting as a pile of horse dung and as arrogant as Arthur. Actually, I take that back, no one could beat the young prince for arrogance.

Morgana. I couldn't keep my thoughts from drifting to her. A noise outside her bedroom had abruptly stopped our confrontation and I had to hide to avoid detection. To my surprise, it had been Uther who had come to check on Morgana last night. There seemed to be more than just the usual ward-father relationship they had. Once Uther had left, Morgana had fallen asleep and I hadn't had a chance to speak with her since. Like yesterday, I had caught barely a glimpse of her silk gowns, gliding around a corner. Another thing reminding me that as an aristocrat, she couldn't associate with me. I sighed and busied myself with the work again; Arthur would never let me hear the end of it if it wasn't finished by the time they came. They were due soon and no doubt Arthur would have me lugging their bags into their rooms. Why couldn't the guest rooms have been on the ground floor?

I leaned against the window frame once I had finished, relaxing into the support the building was giving me. My back ached already from bending over to mop the floors, and I hadn't even started carrying luggage up. Though the window I could see the aristocrats had already arrived on their thoroughbred horses and fancy carriages. Their clothes looked equally as fine as Arthur's so I assumed they were neighbouring princes. I felt a stab of jealousy as Morgana floated out, looking delectable, and offered her hand to the young princes. I could swear they held on to it for longer than was necessary and were standing far too close for men she had just met. My closeness to her last night was strictly out of concern for her health. The only thing these men were probably concerned about was the amount of money they could get if they married her. None of them probably cared to know the real Morgana. If they found out she was a sorceress she would be murdered in an instant, despite the fact Uther was her father.

I stared at the laughing royalty a little longer, listening to Morgana's tinkling laugh until Arthur's voice drew me out of the fairytale picture outside.

"Merlin? Merlin?" he bellowed, probably calling me down to pick up their luggage. I dragged my leaden feet and stored the cleaning things in a cupboard before going to greet the new guests and wait on their every need. Arthur would make sure of that. The next few days were going to be awful. I already felt inferior enough without having to spend every second waiting on them as a second class being. The only consolation I had was the secret I now shared with Morgana. The one thing that could sentence me to death yet save my life at the same time.

**AN: I made this a little shorter as I didn't want to repeat their conversation that they have later again. Apologies for lateness: I've been involved in a school production for the last few months that has taken up all my time and I've been really busy with coursework deadlines. Holidays now so hopefully some more updates. I am going to continue with Merlin/Morgana POV but I feel the mood has changed slightly because they are not interacting. Like/dislike/want me to change? Just say. Until next time (:**


	6. Part 6:Morgana POV

**Disclaimer: Merlin does not belong to me, the characters all belong to the BBC**

**AN: Sorry forgot to mention that this isn't really set at any particular time, and I may take some parts from the series, others I will make up. Morgana is still going to be partly evil and scheming. My laptop is broken so I'm not sure when I'll be able to update. **

Morgana POV

Heavy footsteps interrupted the intense confrontation between Merlin and me last night. Relief and disappointment flooded me, mixed in with worry that Uther would find Merlin in my rooms. Yes, I did recognise my father's footsteps; he had been visiting a lot lately and bringing fine dresses made out of expensive material. "Only the best for his favourite ward," he would say. He'd begun caring almost enough to make me think he had a change of heart, if I hadn't seen him order an old lady's death for suspected witchcraft. I wouldn't like to think what he would do to me if he found out. Or Merlin for that matter. He would have it far worse than me.

I can't believe he kept it a secret from me for so long. The one person I thought would never lie to me didn't tell he was the same as me. He knew for so long what I was. He knew and he never thought that he could help me by sharing his secret with me. I think what hurts more than everything else is realising he doesn't trust me. I thought I was his friend. But I guess not. He's got Arthur and Gwen to keep him company and he doesn't need me. If he doesn't need me then I don't need him.

Resolutely deciding to ignore Merlin and get over this petty crush, I dressed in one of my new gowns and made my way to greet our guests. Uther had invited them from a neighbouring kingdom to improve relations under the pretext of spending time with Arthur - and me. I knew Uther had an ulterior motive; if I married one of these princes, then Camelot would have aid from their army, not to mention, I would get a husband. Was I really ready to commit myself wholeheartedly to a man I didn't know? Even if I could practice magic there, would it be worth it if I couldn't see Merlin again? I would see him when he came with Arthur, but what would he see me as? A fellow sorcerer or a married women that he couldn't trust? I really need to stop thinking about him.

I could hear their boisterous laughter as I came down the steps, and I couldn't deny the flutter of excitement at the prospect of meeting some young men, and finally getting over Merlin. I curtsied politely and offered my hand letting them linger their kiss. A satisfied smirk graced my lips at the thought of making Merlin jealous. The thought of him made my face fall but I pushed him out of my mind, determined to make the most of this pleasant company. I did enjoy the rest of the afternoon; but only at the thought that it was all to make Merlin jealous. I didn't think about my nightmare from the previous night, nor did I remember that I would have to finish my conversation with Merlin when he came to deliver my potion again tonight.


	7. Part 7:Merlin POV

**Disclaimer: Merlin does not belong to me; all of the characters belong to the BBC.  
**

Merlin POV

I am never doing that again. Cleaning the floors was as easy as annoying Arthur, but taking up their luggage ranked close to me beating the young prince in the melee – without the use of magic. Practically impossible. They can take their own luggage up next time. In fact, if they weren't princes they could do it themselves. Stuff all this royalty business. It's not like they have to go around saving the whole of Camelot is it?

"Merlin?" asked Gaius in a gentle scolding tone. "Where have you been, I've been looking for everywhere." I internally groaned. That could only mean he had more work for me to do. "I need you to extract the nectar from a snowdrop for me, it is vitally important for a tincture I need to make and it needs to be fresh."

"Yes Gaius," I replied more bitterly than the physician was expecting and turned to leave the castle. As I left he called, "Oh and Merlin, pick me up some flowers why don't you?" I agreed and stormed off, angry for no particular reason. It had nothing to do with princes' arrival, and had nothing to do with Morgana ignoring me. I was just tired, that was all. The King's ward had absolutely nothing to do with it. You keep telling yourself that Merlin and one day you'll believe it. Why did she have to torment my mind with that infuriating smile of hers?

Gaius was good a picking the very task which refused to let Morgana out of my mind. The colour of light filtering through the foliage reminded me of how her eyes glowed warmly in candlelight. The nectar from the flowers Gaius instructed me to pick smelt like the fragrance that accompanied her, and I had to clear my eyes to check that it wasn't her hair flying round a corner. And with multiple trees to hide behind, that was more than a few times. What has this women done to me?

On the ride back I took my time, not wanting to put more stress on my weary muscles. Arthur had taken care of that already. I heard two men's voices, coming from behind a tree further ahead. I carefully slipped off my horse and crept forward hoping to catch a few words of their conversation. It wasn't so much that they were out, but the fact that they were one of the most secluded woods in the outskirts of Camelot.

"How much does Cenred have to pay for your loyalty?" I heard a muffled figure and then the clink of coins as they were traded – but for what information? I was about to move closer when I saw one of the men in Cenred's uniform cast a wary eye around the wood and then leave. Figuring it would be best to lie low until the other man had left, I crouched in the greenery until I saw a second pair of boots leave. I hurried back to the castle; Arthur would want to know immediately what had happened, and I had the funny feeling Cenred would attack very soon.

"So one of Cenred's men was in Camelot?" Uther inquired, surprisingly calmly. I had expected him to openly declare a battle at the mention of his name, but I suspected he wanted to appear collected in front of his guests.

"Yes father." Arthur replied composedly. "One of the servants informed me he overheard them while on an errand." He trained his face not to look at me but I could sense he wanted conformation from me. It seemed highly unlikely that Cenred would attack now, not without wanting to anger, or involve other kingdoms.

Uther voiced my fears and even looked at Arthur amusingly before returning to his usual sombre face when Arthur did not return his smile.

"Father, I insist we take action. My source is highly reliable; it is highly likely that we have spies within the walls." Pressed Arthur. I could sense his growing restlessness at not being taken seriously.

"Very well. I will send word to the other kingdoms asking for help."

Arthur nodded in response before leaving the hall, giving me the chance to catch a contemplative look on Uther's face. Something told me he was planning to handle this very differently to how I thought he would.

We walked in silence, Arthur still brooding over his father not taking him seriously. "How could he act now? Of all times, what does he have to gain?" exclaimed Arthur in frustration. He looked over at me hopelessly, as if I had answers to give him. Which I could suspect had something to do with there being the heirs to four kingdoms all in the vicinity, but I didn't want to dissuade the others from fighting. They could die, that would be one less prince to kiss Morgana's hand.

"Merlin, as much as my father hopes it will, I do not wish this to turn into a war. If any of the princes care to ask you about it, do not disclose what you have told me. That is for Camelot's ears only. I must return to our company now, could you ensure that five cups of elderberry juice are brought to my chambers, and then the horses need saddling." And then he left with a jovial smile, leaving me to wait on his every need, as per usual.

"Do you want horse dung with that?" I called sarcastically to the prince's retreating form.

Appearing with sheets over her arms, Gwen cast a smile at Arthur before shaking her head towards me. "He'll realise all you've done for him one day." She gave me a knowing look, which made me think she was a seer.

"I think that depends if see past his own reflection," I snorted back. Or if we're still alive that day, I added to myself. War always has its casualties.

AN: All my exams are over! It feels so good not to have to revise any more. I should be updating fairly quickly now, but there are quite a few concerts scheduled so lots of rehearsals.

One of the problems of writing something at five in the morning is that you don't tend to think of a plot. Do you guys have any suggestions that will wrap it up pretty quickly? I'm not including Morgause because I never really understood her. I think I've got some idea of where it might go, but we'll see how it turns out. Next chapter should be up soon!


	8. Part 8:Morgana POV

**Disclaimer: Merlin does not belong to me, all of the characters belong to the BBC.  
**

Morgana POV

Merlin never came.

It's past the time he came at yesterday and he still isn't back. I could punish him for his impertinence, but then Uther would know Merlin had been in my chambers late at night, and then even Merlin wouldn't be able to stand Uther's wrath. It would be more of a punishment to myself rather than a favour. I'm tired from last night's intrusion to my sleep, yet my brain won't calm itself until I see him. This infatuation will be the death of me.

I spent the afternoon in pleasant company. I knew Merlin didn't like me, so I tried to forget about him by enjoying my time with the princes. Prince Amarys in particular showed me a lot of interest; he was the only one who didn't repulse me.

The oldest prince – Gorgio – was by far the ugliest and most immature. If his looks didn't deter me enough then his manner certainly did. I'm not quite sure how Arthur ever became friends with him, and with Uther looking gleeful at their arrival, it seemed my father had something to do with it. Prince Gorgio leered at me whenever he had the chance, and if I hadn't tasted my own elderberry juice then I could swear that he was intoxicated. Every time he laughed he leaned in, eyes bulging at my chest. It was a mistake to wear one of the new low cut fashions Uther had brought me. As much as I loved the silken fabric, Gorgio seemed to enjoy the absence of it more.

Prince Hamlin was the second worst prince. He did not openly leer at me, but it was clear he had other intentions other than just being friends. The way his wistful eye gazed upon me for slightly longer than necessary incensed Arthur, and I'm sure if he had not been a guest in Camelot, Arthur would have challenged him to a duel there and then, both of them.

Pleasant looking, gentlemanly and considerate, Prince Amarys was by far my favourite. And judging by the relative number of death glares, Arthur seemed to favour him too. He even let me ride side saddle with him. I almost wish he hadn't, presenting me like I was some delicate little princess; I can take care of myself. He held on a little too tightly for me and refused to race with the others in fear of the wind unsettling me. All the pleasantries we had exchanged in the morning had soured because of his one comment. There was no way, I, Morgana, newly discovered sorceress, was going to be treated any less than a man. I could ride my own stead, and well, sometimes even better than Arthur.

Merlin would never do that to me. I couldn't keep comparing him to Merlin the whole day. I had been trying to keep him out of my mind, but I simply couldn't. It was in anger, of course. I was angry at him for keeping a secret from me for so long, it had nothing to do with the fact I hadn't seen him. But then I thought of the way his eyes lit up when smiled, and as charming as Amarys' features were, it was Merlin's sticky out ears that made me laugh the most. I couldn't get that boy out of my mind. Of course, it was unlikely he felt the same way. If he couldn't trust me, then how could he like me.

The next day Uther summoned me into his chambers to talk about something important. I had seen Gwen and Merlin whispering about something before abruptly separating when they saw me. A sick feeling in my gut curled and twisted through me, and I disappeared before either of them could say anything. I hurried down the corridor to Uther, trying to forget seeing Gwen and Merlin together – of course they would be together, why wouldn't they? They both saw each other every day, considerably more than I saw Merlin, and could converse freely without it being improper. Of all the people in Camelot, I had to fall someone who wasn't worthy of me. The irony of it was that if Uther found out what I was, I would be treated lower than Merlin (forgetting he was a sorcerer of course).

Uther seemed very pleased to see me, which was odd, because Arthur had looked hassled earlier. If Uther had made a decision that Arthur didn't like, then I'm not sure if it was the right decision to make. Although Uther ruled the kingdom through fear, I secretly agreed that Arthur would make a better leader and a much fairer one too.

"Morgana," said Uther, bringing me out of my assessment. "I have a decision for you to make, two in fact." A small smile danced around his lips. "One, is which prince you have chosen to marry, I've heard you have a soft spot for Amarys; and what date you would like the wedding. The sooner the better of course, but with the upcoming battle I'm not sure if an early wedding would be possible." Wedding. _Wedding. _I was to marry one of those princes. I suppressed a shudder at the thought. I knew I would be expected to marry one of these princes eventually, but now was too soon. I couldn't marry one of them, I just couldn't see myself as the Queen of somewhere that wasn't Camelot; or away from Merlin, Arthur and Gwen.

Uther looked at me expectantly. "Well Morgana?" I ran through my options. I tried to push Merlin out of my head; he was definitely not in the options I could present to Uther. The only one I could consider marrying was Prince Amarys, but it was always best to wait and consider any other possibilities.

"Well," I replied hesitantly, "I think it is best to wait, and then I can consider marrying Prince Amarys, if I feel it is appropriate." Uther spoke over my last few words when he heard the name Amarys. "That's brilliant, I'll send a message over to King Fabion immediately, he will be most pleased."

"Father," I pleaded, "Not yet, it is too soon, I have only just met Prince Amarys, he may not be a suitable match." I prayed he would take me seriously, but I knew there was little hope, it was clear now that he had been planning this for a long time.

"Nonsense, now go and make yourself presentable, I want a banquet to celebrate." I trailed back to my chambers, answering the question I had asked myself before. I was not prepared to become Queen of anywhere other than Camelot.

AN: Plot's coming together, should be finished in a few more chapters hopefully


	9. Part 9:Merlin POV

**Disclaimer: Merlin does not belong to me; all of the characters belong to the BBC. **

**AN: I know it's awful. Apologies in advance.  
**

Merlin POV

"Merlin, we're going to war." Arthur's voice echoed down the corridor as he came out from the armoury, presumably polishing his amour – a job he usually reserved for me. I really must be behind. Oh well, it's Arthur. He deserves to know what it feels like polishing his sloppy armour all day. I swear he only does it to gaze longingly into his reflection, the narcissist. It's the most romantic I've ever seen him be. Or he has developed a fondness for his horse. That'd probably be it.

"Merlin, are you even listening to me?" exclaimed Arthur. "We have Cenred knocking at our doors and here you are gazing off into space like an idiot. Get to work; I need the rest of my armour polishing, my saddle serviced, oh and Merlin? Make sure Gwen stays safe will you?" His annoyance had changed into his rogue boy face, the one he used for charming the public. Or in this case I would say, at the mention of Gwen's name. Who would have thought Arthur such a love struck fool? Maybe there would be hope for those two after all.

If Arthur liked Gwen and declared his feelings for her then they could possibly have a future together. When Arthur becomes King he would have nothing to worry about, no one could condemn him for it because is King. And then if Arthur makes it acceptable, maybe Morgana and I- no, I can't think like that. Morgana would never want to be with me, she couldn't be with me. What am I thinking? Arthur becoming King won't change anything, let alone happen soon. And even the pompous prince himself knows it won't work out with him and Gwen, it just won't. And neither will it with me and Morgana.

"Merlin?" Arthur asked incredulously.

"Yeah?" I replied to the slightly shocked prince next to me, trying to not let my voice shake and keeping an eye on the rapidly approaching cloud on the ground that was most likely going to kill us.

"Why are you here?" His voice had gone up in utter confusion and his mouth was unattractively gaping open.

It was a good question actually, why was I here, standing next to this buffoon in a vain attempt to protect him using my non-existent fighting skills when I could be inside the castle staying safe. But you would think that me being here would outweigh the fact that I had no fighting skills but I suppose according to Arthur, Gwen would probably be more useful to him.

"To-" I stuttered, I shrugged my shoulders and made up, "To help you?" I knew it was pathetic, but the alternative of: "I'm here to save you using magic just in case you die because you're important in the future" wouldn't be the best solution.

All I received was another incredulous look and an eyeroll. "Oh why didn't you just say, now we can both die while I'm trying to save you!" The irony of why I was here made me burst out laughing until I was doubled over leaning on Arthur for support. Arthur simply shook his head and said, "We really need to get you checked out, make sure you ask Gaius for a potion."

After a little while of watching the ominous cloud growing into more pronounced horse like shapes, Arthur turned to me and clapped me on the back. "You know Merlin. I'm glad you're here." It may have been the only compliment he was ever going to give me so I welcomed it with a friendly smile.

AN: Are you confused yet? Yeah I am too. It feels like I'm dragging out nothing and therefore I'll be taking a break from this/possibly not finishing this/possibly rewriting this/changing it into Mergana moments in the future. Sorry about that :/


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